There are too many cooks in my life - and none of them are me.

People don’t always understand your goals, hopes and dreams; particularly the people you are closest to.

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It’s very easy to have an opinion on someone’s life if you care about them, it’s difficult to see past the practicalities of life and see the other important factors like ambition, passion, mental health, wellbeing and emotions. These are factors that are just as important when making decisions. And here’s the thing:

Most other people don’t understand you.

This might include some of your family and friends.

How could they? They haven’t lived your life.

It doesn’t mean they aren’t important to you or vice versa, but they don’t understand.

How many times have you tried to have a conversation with someone only to become frustrated when they can’t see your perspective? How much more painful is this when it’s someone you love?

Here’s the other thing:

I haven’t made a decision for myself since I met my abusive ex.

Wow. That was tough to admit. I simply do not have the confidence to make decisions anymore, without the approval of other people first. It’s painful and it’s damaging and it’s left me living a half life.

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Maybe it’s because I’m naturally dominant, but I’ve become incredibly submissive. Maybe it’s because I can’t bear to lose any more people that I love (and love isn’t something I take can take for granted anymore) but I can’t seem to give myself permission to follow my heart anymore.

There are too many cooks in my life - and none of them are me.

Stop persuading people and start showing them.

I should never have given as much influence to people as I have. Recovering from an abusive relationship is difficult - and this is simply another thing I need to regain control over. Nevertheless, I am a grown ass woman.

I’m a woman who had to grow up pretty fucking quick, while watching her own mum make suicide attempt after suicide attempt. I’m a woman who lost her mum at 19 and had to cope with that completely alone. I’m also a woman who survived a physically, mentally and financially abusive relationship. I’m very capable.

I need to stop needing validation.

If you’re feeling like this today too, come chat with me on Twitter. I could sure use some company. Also, please remember that energy and time are precious resources - use them to achieve your dreams; not to persuade others that your dreams are valid.

This is your one chance on earth to build a life that YOU love. So build it.

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Anneli Roberts2 Comments