On the edge
I'm standing on the edge of 2017 precariously to say the least. The world is rife with tension and confusion. The news is full of terror, hunger and war. Our Facebook feeds; full of loneliness and insecurity. Our elections; full of flawed figures and fake news. Our minds; full of questions and ideas that nobody will ever answer or hear. Our collective bank accounts empty.
We're all fighting for something. Rights. Awareness. Jobs. Food. Our lives. Only, none of us really know how to anymore. Somehow we're still fighting though. Our illnesses. Ourselves. Each other.
It's 2017 and we can supposedly choose our own bespoke futures. Carve out our own careers, families and our own paths. In theory. Who among us knows what we want anymore? How are we supposed to decide, when all we're confronted with when we wake up is fear?
I'm so anxious today, I can't face tidying my own room. How am I supposed to make the right decisions about my future?
I am surrounded by good people every single day. Kind people, compassionate people, fun people. People who can make me laugh with just a line from a song. People who would pick up the phone in the middle of the night if I needed them to. They matter to me.
Do I tell them? Of course I do, but probably not enough. What if one of them is feeling lonely? Like, really lonely. The kind of loneliness that penetrates whatever company you're in. Loneliness that isn't actually physical, but emotional. "I am alone because nobody hears me."
If one of the people that I loved felt like that, would I know? Probably not. Just as, in that moment, they wouldn't know that I loved them. I know that I don't.
When I feel alone, I feel truly alone. Alone to the core.
And here's the problem with loneliness: when you feel alone, your mind is not your own. Your worries, your insecurities, your self doubt, your anxiety and your darkest memories will creep in on you - and you'll let them. You'll let it all in, you'll think that in a twisted way, you deserve it. You'll welcome it.
It has to change.
It's Sunday. It might be a busy day for you, it might be a lonely one. Either way, you must know people that matter to you. Choose one of them. Tell them.
Tell them. Just do it. Just a text, or an email, or a phone call. Even better - show up at their door. Because I'll tell you something, you won't know what the fuck is going on behind it until you cross that threshold.
We're all so preoccupied with who hates who, who is to blame and who wore it fucking best that we're not looking after each other. We're not. You're not.
So please, take some time out of your Sunday to show someone you care. We need it now more than ever.