What to do when you feel your mental health suddenly decline

Ok so this is an important but difficult post for me to write and it’s probably not going to be the most joyous read either. However, I think we need real talk around our mental health. And it’s incredibly important for us to talk about recovery in it’s entirety, which also includes talking about decline.

Whatever stage you’re at in your recovery journey, you will likely experience a dip in your mental health. At some point. And, probably, when that happens you’re going to panic.

“Oh no! Not this again. I’ve worked so hard and made all this progress, how am I suddenly feeling worse? Why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this? Will I never be well?”

Or that’s how it goes for me, at least.

I’ve worked hard at wellness. Living with mental illness is exhausting at the best of times. To suddenly find myself feeling worse after months of working hard at self care? It makes me feel hopeless and it makes me want to stop bothering all together.

But it’s normal.

Ugh. Mannnnn. I hate even writing that, guys, I’m sorry! I want to be able to provide a straight up fix for this issue but I cannot. I can only provide a bit of comfort, share my own knowledge and reassure you that you’re not alone. Hate that for us.

What do you hope your recovery will look like?

First up, I think it’s important that we have a realistic perspective on recovery here.

Not that my view of recovery is somehow more correct than yours. It isn’t. But some of the times I’ve been most frustrated with my own recovery were when I had set expectations of myself that i was never going to be able to meet.

I am a big believer in recovery being an ongoing process rather than a state to aspire to. I live with PTSD. For me, from the moment I was free from further traumatic events and started processing and living with their aftermath, I was recovering. I will be recovering for the rest of my life. Probably.

My recovery is a journey. It’s me learning about managing my symptoms, processing traumatic memories, making peace with my feelings and making space for wellness in my life.

Here are some things I think of as part of my recovery:

• Therapy and other treatments
• Reaching out for support
• Health and well-being as a whole
• Setting boundaries
• Making time for myself
• Making time for the people and activities that bring me joy
• Rest and managing my energy levels
• Setting goals and looking to the future
• Learning
• Building my self esteem and confidence
• Arming myself with tools and techniques to keep me safe
• Understanding what I’ve been through and how it’s changed me

As my recovery progresses, I hope that life will slowly become less about what I’ve been through and more about what I want. I hope that change will be pretty steady and that I will find joy and comfort in the world regularly and consistently.

One thing that I’m sure of is that I’ll be “recovering” forever. I don’t think I’ll ever look back and think that it is done with.

You might think about recovery differently to me and that’s absolutely fine too. You might have a clear “end goal” that you can visualise and work towards. Our journeys are different.

What has triggered this period of decline in your mental health?

Whether you know what has caused your dip in mental health or not, there probably was a trigger. And figuring out what caused things to get worse, can kind of break the fall a bit. In my experience, it’s always worth spending a little time thinking about your triggers. Even if it doesn’t help you today, it might help you down the line.

Sometimes the trigger could be obvious but often you’ll need to ask yourself some questions before you figure out exactly what happened. Here are some questions I ask myself when I suddenly start to feel worse:

• What happened in the minutes/hours/days immediately before this decline?
• Did I read something triggering in the news?
• Have I fallen out with someone or experienced conflict?
• Have I had to deal with something trauma related?
• Is there an upcoming scary appointment or event that I am worried about?
• Could there be an unrelated health issue impacting my mental health? Is there extra stress atm? Am I generally under the weather?
• Am I due to have my period?
• Is there a big anniversary coming up?
• What happened this time last year?
• Did something suddenly scare me?
• What stresses am I coping with at the moment?
• What’s changed in my routine, self care plan or treatment recently?

You might find an answer that you didn’t know you had.

Complex feelings you might experience when your mental health dips

Recovery isn’t linear. But knowing that doesn’t make the low points any easier. The highs of recovery are absolutely delicious. Achievements and milestones and “Wow look at how far I’ve come” moments that bring you hope and joy and often also come supported by praise from those around you. The lows are… complicated.

In an ideal world we’d all be able to shower ourselves with compassion, patience and forgiveness when we need it most. Wouldn’t that be helpful? Instead we are left feeling confused, ashamed, sad and hopeless.

And it can be scary to find yourself suddenly feeling unwell again. Especially after a period of feeling the positive effects of recovery. Of course it’s scary. I get it. I’m scared too.

Listen, whatever has brought you to this article isn’t going to beat you. It’s not.

This is temporary. It’s a blip. It will maybe even be very forgettable one day. I hope so.

And here’s the thing: you haven’t actually been here before. Sure, you’ve been somewhere incredibly similar. Almost identical. That’s why it’s so damn scary. You are remembering how hard it was last time.

But this is not the same place. And you are not the same you.

I’m not saying it won’t be hard. It will be. But you have skills now that you didn’t have last time. You know things you didn’t know before. Coping mechanisms and techniques that you didn’t used to have. They might not be on the top of your brain right this very second, but they are in there.

Yes, you’re tired now. No, you don’t want to have to keep doing this. But you will beat this because somewhere deep inside you there’s a voice (however quietly) telling you that you can.

That’s you. The real you. The you that wants to keep recovering and keep going. The you that remembers that there are good moments that punctuate even the darkest times. The you that wants to know what happens next.

You won’t feel like this forever

Having a period of being unwell again doesn’t mean you’re going to be stuck feeling that way forever. It isn’t that you temporarily felt better and you’re back down there again now. I promise.

When I have declines in my mental health, I get scared that they are my default state. That everything I experience in my good moments is temporary and that I’ll always come back to this dark place. That I will never feel happy or well. That’s not accurate. It’s just fear.

Fear is such a powerful feeling and it’s natural to be afraid of feeling like this. And when you are scared, it becomes overwhelming and all consuming. If you’ve ever had a panic attack, you’ll know all about that.

All of the emotions you’ve ever felt are a part of you. The good parts of your recovery are just as real and valid as these feelings you are experiencing now.

Your achievements are real. Your progress is real. Your recovery is real.

Feeling unwell again doesn’t undo all the progress you’ve made. Your efforts weren’t wasted. That work paid off. It’s just not visible RIGHT NOW.

But I am not supposed to be trying to convince you things are OK, am I? I’m supposed to be giving you a practical guide to what to do next. I just can’t help myself but try to comfort you by reminding you of everything you have accomplished so far in recovery. Because I think deep down it’s what I wish I could do for myself.

xoxo

Practical things you can do when your mental health declines

You can also do these things when you are feeling more stable, to prepare for the scarier times.

• Save helpline numbers in your phone so you can access them
• Find the contact details for your local crisis line and store them somewhere obvious too
• Tell a trustworthy and reliable person what you are going through. Ask this person to check in on you at certain intervals.
• Reach out to your loved ones and talk to them about what is going on. No, they aren’t bored of hearing about it.
• Cancel all plans that you don’t think you can handle
• Ask for support for anything you absolutely cannot cancel
• Put all non essential chores on the back burner – outsource anything you have the resources to be able to do so
• Find comfort in your favourite food and favourite TV shows.
• Stick to as much of your self care routine as you possibly can.
• Medicate if you can/need to
• Avoid further triggers wherever possible
• Create distance between yourself and any items or substances you might use to harm yourself
• Do what you can to break the cycles of negative thoughts. Even things that don’t further your recovery long term (like having a quick chat with a friend), could be enough to prevent more immediate distress.
• Allow yourself to rest.
• Remind yourself that you are going to be ok.
• Distract yourself with hobbies if you have the energy. Videos and games are valid distractions.
• Limit your time on websites that lower your mood or cause you stress.
• Unfollow social media accounts that make you feel shitty.
• Take things 5 minutes at a time.

You’re doing great. You really are. This isn’t an easy thing to go through and I am rooting for you.

And me. I’m rooting for me. Because, as I am writing this, I’m going through my own rough patch. And so this was hard. But worth it I hope. For both of us.

12