Recovery from life after abuse is so hard that it sometimes feels impossible. I’ve faced so many obstacles along the way, including life changing mental health problems as a result of PTSD. The life I have is totally different to anything I had pictured (or hoped for) for myself and every day is a battle.
Surviving domestic abuse isn’t as simple as I thought it would be before I found myself in this situation. Naively, I had thought that a survivor would be safe when they were physically distanced form their abuser. But the battle for survival is long and hard. And it extends far into the future for victims of abuse.
I don’t often talk about the financial obstacles facing domestic abuse survivors. After all, the financial worries seem relatively small compared to the flashbacks, hallucinations and agoraphobia. But, despite being less of an immediate danger, they do have an impact on my quality of life. And these issues impact others much more than they do me.
It’s about time we started talking about stuff. I’ve always wanted to bring more visibility to the wide variety of issues facing those in domestic violence situations and the issues that continue to affect them long after they are free from immediate danger. Domestic abuse is wayyy too often seen as a “behind closed doors” problem, with people, culture and the government turning a blind eye to what victims are going through. Fuck that. We need to talk about it.
It’s absolute nonsense that some of the most vulnerable people in society are repeatedly let down like this.
Financial abuse
Many victims will face different types of abuse from their abuser. My abuser was physically violent, emotionally abusive, threatening, controlling and sexually abused me for an extended period of time. He was also financially abusive.
Financial abuse (also known as economic abuse) is an aspect of coercive control. An abuser might limit their victim’s access to finances, control their bank account, misuse their money, recklessly spend money that was budgeted for essentials, take out loans in their name, gamble with joint assets or spend the victim’s money without permission.
31.9% of abuse survivors reported that their finances were controlled by the perpetrator, according to a 2019 study by Women’s Aid. 25% of respondents said that they were left without access to essentials like food and clothes because of the financial abuse during the relationship.
Surviving Economic Abuse charity say economic abuse is designed to reinforce or create economic instability. In this way it limits women’s choices and ability to access safety. Lack of access to economic resources can result in women staying with abusive men for longer and experiencing more harm as a result.
Financial abuse rarely happens in isolation and is often reinforced by threatened consequences.
The cost of escaping abuse
Putting distance between yourself and your abuser costs money. This is especially true for victims who live with their abusers.
Moving house is an expensive and stressful undertaking in the best of circumstances. But, for victims who are trying to escape abuse, the financial obstacles seem so insurmountable that victims will often feel they have no choice but to remain with their abuser. There is also the added problem that victims might not have much opportunity to plan their escape or to be able to choose the services they employ to do so, making costs quickly rack up.
Victims leaving their abuser might need to cover the cost of transport, removals, securing a new home, the first months’ rent or mortgage and bills or living costs for the first few weeks in their new homes.
Leaving an abuser is dangerous. Women are at the greatest risk of homicide at the point of separation or after leaving a violent partner. Relocation is paramount to the safety of victims and, without family help or access to financial support, many victims might find themselves in danger for longer than would otherwise be necessary.
The cost of starting over
Beyond the initial escape and relocation costs a victim will likely be faced with other costs at a time when they are already vulnerable. Costs like the cost of looking for work, replacing their clothes and personal belongings, the higher cost of running a home without their abuser, outstanding debts, bills and replacing possessions lost or broken during the relationship can rack up.
Depending on the financial structure of the abusive relationship, the victim might find themselves having to learn to manage money for the first time, which could be difficult and costly.
Some victims of abuse will need to pay for legal aid or support services in order to start over, which could quickly add up and become expensive.
Build up of debt
Many domestic violence victims will find themselves with mounting debts during or shortly after the abusive relationship has ended. Women’s Aid say that 43.1% of survivors reported that they were in debt as a direct result of the abuse with over a quarter losing sleep over financial worries.
As mentioned above, some abuser’s will take out debts in the victim’s name without their knowledge leaving them with financial obligations that can last for years. The debt accrued during the relationship and in the immediate aftermath can have a severe impact on the victims’ future finances.
If financial abuse is present in the relationship, there is a high likelihood that victim’s won’t have access to savings or financial support from others. This could lead to a further build up of debt out of desperation.
Disruption to career
The effects of abuse can impact a victim’s job performance, health and ability to work, confidence, employment prospects and potential earnings. For some, these effects will be long term and will make financial independence significantly harder.
Victims who relocate in order to leave their abuser will likely also need to leave their job in order to secure their safety. Many victims will also suffer from the effects of trauma long after the abuse has ended, leaving some of them unable to work at all.
The Domestic Abuse Report 2019: the Economic of Abuse found that over half of victims who had left their abuser felt that the abuse had impacted their ability to work. Even just a year out of work can have a huge impact on someone’s future financial prospects, even impacting the amount of pension they are entitled to after retirement.
Poor Credit Rating
The combined effects of financial abuse, build up of debt and a high likelihood of career disruption means that there is a substantial risk that a victim’s credit rating will be negatively impacted by domestic abuse.
Defaults, missed payments and CCJs can impact a person’s ability to get credit for 6 years, which means that an abuse victim who takes 6 years to be able to get on top of their finances could struggle to be financially independent for up to 12 years in total.
Further compounding these problems for victims is the fact that credit offered to those with poor credit ratings is likely to have a higher interest rate, meaning that abuse victims can quickly find themselves borrowing beyond their means and with their financial situation out of control. The Co-operative bank and Refuge charity have collaborated on a report called “know economic abuse”, which calls for credit reference reform to end the financial exclusion of economic abuse survivors.
Financial worries can have a terrible effect on people’s health with people in debt 3 times as likely to die by suicide.
Mental health issues
Domestic abuse can have a devastating effect on the mental health of victims. It can lead to an increased risk of a number of mental health problems. And has been linked to anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, PTSD and addiction.
NHS mental health services are underfunded and secondary psychiatric services (which are required for diagnosis and treatment of conditions like PTSD) are difficult to access for patients. Mental health needs account for 23% of health needs in the UK but only 11% of NHS funding.
Patients are regularly faced with long waiting lists for treatment that is inappropriate for the severity of their condition. Victims’ mental health will often deteriorate if left untreated meaning that some preventative treatments may be ineffective once they gain access.
Poor mental health can have a huge impact on a victim’s ability to work and improve their financial situation. Domestic abuse victims may find themselves being unable to work and unable to manage their finances effectively because of the effects of abuse on their mental health.
In addition to the financial struggles resulting from the mental health issues, the lack of access to treatment can mean that recovery becomes an added financial burden for the victim. Counselling, treatment and diagnosis are all expensive to access privately but are necessary parts of rehabilitation for victims. All victims deserve to live in hope that they will one day live a life that is free from the effects of abuse.
It’s worth me noting here that victims of domestic violence are advised to postpone intensive trauma therapy and avoid talking about the abuse in counselling. This is because memories of trauma can become clearer or change with therapy, which can be problematic when it comes to giving testimony in court. The perception can be that the victim’s recollection of events is unreliable, but this isn’t necessarily the case.
For me, personally, this has meant delaying any further treatment by almost 2 more years and leaving me impatient to continue my recovery journey as I am certain my situation will not improve until I am able to address the extent of the abuse in therapy.
Physical health issues
Domestic violence can lead to physical health issues, injuries and disability that leave a victim physically limited or incapable to work. As in the case of mental health issues above, physical health issues may result in an additional cost being incurred by the victim as well as the emotional toll it takes on them while they recover and adjust.
Of course, health should be considered holistically, but I have separated them in this instance because of the unique barriers facing mental health patients and the NHS service limitations.
Lack of available support
An increase of support available to domestic violence victims could ease a lot of the financial pressures they are faced with and help them get back on their feet. There simply is not enough support out there to help meet the needs of victims and the support that does exist is difficult to access.
Just over a year after my abusive relationship ended I had to give up my career because the effects my PTSD was having on my job performance and levels of anxiety and stress became completely unmanageable. Perhaps naively, I was somewhat confident that there would be help available to me. I thought that, with the proper support, I would be back on my feet (and back at work) in no time.
Citizens of the UK pay their taxes with the knowledge that some of that money goes towards supporting the most vulnerable in society. Actually “welfare” (which includes benefits) accounts for the largest portion of government tax spending at 22.1% in the tax year ending in April 2020. However, the way the system is structured leaves a lot to be desired when it comes to protecting victims of abuse.
Universal Credit claims take around 5 weeks to process, leaving victims without any financial support for a significant period of time and one when they are incredibly vulnerable. It also leaves victims having to wait for 5 weeks before they become eligible for legal aid. Perpetrators will regularly weaponise family courts against their victims in order to continue abuse through fighting for child contact.
Refuge charity say that you should tell your work coach as early as possible about your domestic abuse situation. They should be able to pause your ‘commitments’ to looking for work for up to 13 weeks, if you have experienced domestic violence in the last 6 months.
Disabled abuse survivors or those with long term illnesses could be eligible for Personal Independence Payments (PIP). The PIP application process can be incredibly difficult and upsetting for people and many applicants (especially those with mental health issues) find that the way their condition affects them does not fit comfortably into the criteria it is assessed against. Many people who are unsuccessful in their PIP claim are later awarded the benefit through the appeal process.
Many domestic violence victims have been told and shown that they are unworthy of proper care during the course of the abuse. The lack of financial support in the wake of this life changing crime reinforces this idea and leaves victims especially vulnerable. Abuse victims should be treated gently when engaging with services, as it has likely taken great courage for them to get to that stage and they will be particularly sensitive to injustice or mismanagement.
As many of you know, I’ve personally been fighting to get my own life back on track since I met my abuser 8 years ago and have encountered many of these obstacles myself. While the financial upset caused by abuse is nowhere near the most damaging effect of all of this, it has still been a huge source of worry for me.
The financial disruption left behind after domestic violence prolongs the pain experienced by the victim and we should do everything we can, as a society, to help them bounce back from this terrible chapter of their lives.
You may also like to read: what to do when you find out someone you love is a domestic abuse victim
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This was such an informative and well written article. I had not even thought about some of these things, even though it seemed so obvious when you pointed it out. Definitely a lot of food for thought and I hope things begin to change soon.
Thank you for writing this article. I found your blog through Jenny in Neverland. I’ve been living with an abusive partner for the last 6 years and am at the stage where I’m wondering whether it is worth staying. But as you said it’s the financial aspect that makes it hard to make this decision as I don’t have any money to just pack up and leave. I do have a job but that money goes into our joint account and I’m not allowed my own money.
Here in Australia the Federal Government and maybe State governments have made available financial assistance to women experiencing domestic violence as it became a big issue here when Covid hit and people raised concern about women stuck at home with their abusive partners – so there is that option. But I know there people worse off than me and the good thing is we don’t have any kids.
Hi Katie, this was a really difficult comment to read. I’m sure it was harder to write. I promise your life will be better after leaving your abusive partner, however difficult it is to take that initial step. I really hope you’ve already made it out, but on the off chance you haven’t and you see this comment – let this be your sign to take back your freedom ❤️ take all the support you can on your way x