Read this if you’re having a panic attack

OK. Let me start by saying that I’ve been where you are right now and I realise that it feels unbelievably shit. And, no, I can’t magic your panic attack away in an instant, I still struggle with them myself. But I can tell you categorically that you are going to be OK. You are.

Recognising that you’re having a panic attack is such a huge step in itself. I don’t know whether this is your first panic attack or not, but understanding what you’re going through really will help you learn how to cope. Sometimes coping is the best we can do, so we’re going to focus on that.

Understanding your panic attack

Panic attacks come on suddenly and are scary and all consuming. Right now, it feels like there’s nothing beyond the immediate fear you’re feeling, but it will fade.

Most panic attacks last between 5 and 20 minutes. Although that feels like a long time, while you’re in it, it’s good to remember that it’s going to pass in that time.

Sometimes you can have more than 1 panic attack in a night. It’s happened to me before and I’m so sorry if you’re going through it right now. I still think it’s best to tackle each attack as an individual hurdle, so that it’s less daunting.

If it helps you to set a timer for 20 minutes, you should do so. I find comfort in setting timers when I’m waiting for them to pass. There’s something nice about knowing that, by the time the alarm sounds, I’ll be over the worst of it.

Get to a safe space

If you can get to a place that feels safe to you (like your sofa or bed), you should. A change in environment can help to relax your mind, especially if you felt suddenly unsafe in your current space.

Do you have a favourite place? Try to picture it in as much detail as possible. Think about what it smells like, what the typical weather is, what you might hear if you were there and what you would be able to reach out and touch.

Break it up

Sitting with your panic attack might be all you feel like doing, and that’s OK, it will still pass in its own time. But, if you can get up and do something to break the flow of a panic attack, it might help stop your thoughts and feelings from spiralling.

I highly recommend you make a cup of tea now, or even something to eat. Take your phone with you, if you like and keep reading. We’ll get through this together.

The symptoms

You might be feeling nauseous, lightheaded or struggling to regulate your breathing. These are common symptoms of a panic attack and I promise you that you’re not in any danger.

A panic attack is a health issue and a very real one, but the symptoms are not dangerous, despite being scary. If you feel yourself starting to hyperventilate, try breathing as slowly and deeply as you can (into a paper bag if you have one). Count in your head to 4 and then 6 and then 8 as you continue to focus on your breathing.

You’re doing so well. Let’s try a grounding technique.

Grounding yourself

Grounding techniques might sound like a wanky nonsense, but it can genuinely help you to stop spiralling in a moment. It can be helpful (but isn’t necessary) to have someone there to guide you through it.

I was very resistant to this kind of thing until the last few weeks. To my surprise, when I let myself try them in a moment of desperation, they actually work. Take a moment to answer the following questions if you can (I find it helpful to say the answers out loud).

5 Tell me about 5 things you can see around you?

It could be the light, or the colour of the wall nearest to you, your pet, your cup of tea, your kitchen counter, your own hands, etc. Choose 5 and say them out loud.

4 What are 4 things you can hear right now?

Can you hear the TV or some music playing? Is anything in the room ticking or making a buzzing noise? Can you hear the weather? What noises can you hear in the distance?

3 Name 3 things you can feel

Can you reach out and touch 3 things around you? Are you hot or cold? Can you feel your feet on the ground? Think about the physical sensations and textures around you.

2 What 2 things can you smell?

Is there a candle or fragrance in the room you’re in? What scents can you pick up on the air around you? Try to focus on your sense of smell alone.

1 What can you taste?

Tell me about 1 thing you can taste. There might already be a taste in your mouth, or this could be a good time to have a sip of tea. If you can taste a bitterness at the back of your mouth, this could be the taste of adrenaline from the panic attack itself and is nothing to worry about, so don’t be afraid.

You did it. I’m so proud that you committed to that.

Move your body

If you feel up to it, you should gently move your body. Getting up and taking a walk around the room might be helpful. Even if you stay where you are, try having a big stretch, reach as high and as low as you can manage and let your muscles relax back into a resting position.

It’s OK if you don’t feel ready to move your body. You know your own limits.

Connect with the things you love

Try to connect with the things that you love the most. If you have a pet, now would be a good time to observe, play with or cuddle them. We get great comfort from our pets and they often intuitively know when we’re not feeling well, so make the most of this moment of connection with yours.

You might have items around you that bring you comfort too, perhaps a favourite blanket, item of clothing or piece of art. Describe what it is that you like about this object. Spend some time looking at it, touching it, feeling it. Is it soft or smooth or colourful?

If you’re in an unfamiliar setting or don’t have access to your favourite things, you can still do this step. Some of the things you love are stored in your own mind. Try to recite the lyrics to your favourite song, picture a scene from your favourite movie in detail, list some facts you have learned about the things that interest you most, picture something that brings you a great deal of comfort, calm and peace.

Identify your needs

Are you hungry or thirsty? Are you at a comfortable temperature? Are you sat in a position that feels natural and supports your body? Are you wearing things that feel right to you?

One at a time, try to address these needs. Eat something. Take a sip of water. Add or remove layers of blankets or clothing. Make yourself more comfortable.

If you feel lonely, reach out to a friend. If you feel crowded, leave the place you’re in and seek solitude or ask for some privacy.

Distract yourself

Do you feel ready to distract yourself? If you have a favourite comfort TV show or movie, now might be the time to put it on. Even if it just serves as background noise, a familiar show could be helpful right now.

Alternatively, your favourite music, podcast, audiobook or even the radio might break up some of the silence and help drown out some of the scary intrusive thoughts you might be having. Here are 118 things to try if you’re feeling anxious.

There are lots of funny videos on TikTok and YouTube that are free to access, if you need something to distract you quickly. Or you could work your way through some of the things on this list of 100 places to go when you can’t leave the house.

It shouldn’t be long now until the panic attack has passed completely. You did it!

Congratulate yourself

Your bound to feel drained and exhausted by now. But you’re doing so well and you should be proud of yourself for getting through something as overwhelming and scary as a panic attack. It isn’t easy, believe me, I know.

Be gentle with yourself and treat yourself to some rest and relaxation now. Having a panic attack can be a good indication that you might have further panic attacks in the future. While you might be worried about this, remember it isn’t a failure on your part and you should do what you can to make things as easy as possible to cope with.

Keep your distraction techniques close by and, when you’re feeling better, consider talking to your doctor and putting a self care box together to make the next time slightly less scary. You’re awesome. You really are.

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